Change is such a scary word, and also now looks kind of weird because I've just sat googling images of the word for this post, you know when you look at a word for too long - like your own name and it starts to look strange and spelt wrong? change change change change - see?!
Okay, enough nervous rambling.
But the truth is I am SO nervous.
My life has suddenly turned a huge corner and around that corner was a lot of big changes and alterations and that's not something I'm very used too.
For a while I've kind of felt like this guy.
Stood on a ladder of my own life, getting bored and frustrated with waking up every morning and doing the same old things - putting on the same clothes, styling the same hair, going to the same job, etc etc, and change was just a little bit away - just within reach but I wasn't quite there.
I spent a lot of my time trying to change and mould my life into something different and exciting but never really found what I was looking for.
I even got my hair cut so much shorter!
Something I've been undecided whether to do for a while. Getting your hair cut may not seem like a massive change - but in a way it kind of is! Everyone around me has told me how much different I look (I'm assuming in a good way...hopefully) and I've felt a lot more confident in myself as my longer hair was in such a bad condition and never felt nice or fresh, and now my new hair feels great everyday! I also changed the colour up a bit by lighting the ends for the Summer and I love it so much, and I feel like getting it cut marked the beginning of a lot more change to come.
The biggest part of my life I wasn't so happy with was my job.
I didn't hate it but I didn't love it.
The people I worked with I had made friends with and enjoyed working with them everyday but part of me knew I didn't want to work at restaurant for another year of my life, I wanted to try new things, meet new people and have a Summer I would look forward to and enjoy.
I'd been applying for jobs a lot throughout last year, but only ones which included what I was interested in and knew I would want to and waiting for answers from these applications was tedious.
A few got back to me saying I didn't have enough experience or qualifications etc and some didn't get back to me at all (rude).
I went for a couple of interviews but knew as soon as I got to them that they weren't for me and didn't want to go for the first job that accepted me just for the sake of it and make completely the wrong decision.
A few weeks ago a photography-based job came up at a theme park not too far from where I live so I sent off an application and got an email back to ask me to come in for an interview, and I found myself more nervous about this interview than any other, mainly because photography has been something I've wanted to do for as long as I can remember and I really did not want to mess it up.
I tweeted about the interview when I got the email saying how nervous I was, not just because it was an interview but it was a three and a half hour interview involving working in teams with the other interviewees and talking in front of large groups whilst the manager looks on and decides which one is best for the job - SCARY.
I got a few lovely replies from you guys telling me to have confidence in myself and after completely freaking out and almost deciding not to go - I pulled my self together and agreed to have confidence and try not to let my anxious feelings get out of control.
To cut a long story short I attended the interview and got told the same day that I had got the job! (a long with a few others as well) and was surprised beyond belief!
I of course took the job and handed in my notice at my current job within three days and now next week (a week today) is my first day at my new job - ahh!
As the last day at my current job and the first day at my new job gets closer the anxious feelings have been re-surfacing and feeling of question and doubt has started to come - making me question whether I've made the right decision and just general fear of the unknown - has anyone else experienced this during a big change in their life? It's a horrible feeling but one I would like to overcome...
Change is scary AND weird.
If you look for it, it's hard to find but then when you least expect it it comes out of nowhere and surprises you!
Whats changed in your life recently?
Molly
xox
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