Quitting My Job

At school we are asked at a young age 'what do you want to be when you're older?' and things such as 'a footballer, a princess, an astronaut, a famous actress' were call given as answers and to us - at the time - it seemed like a realistic and doable thing because becoming an astronaut is easy peasy right?!

As we got older and the question was asked again the answers became a bit more sensible, 'a chef, a doctor, a vet, a teacher' and then decisions were made on what subjects we should take at school to then progress on and get the grades we need to do these jobs for the future.

For me the question 'what do you want to be when your older?' was always answered with 'an author' when I was much younger and then changed to 'an Animal Carer' as I got a bit older.

But I always always found it hard to answer - and would envy anyone who knew the answer straight away every time they were asked.

The animal care job was in reality a lot more realistic than being an author so after I wasted my subject options at school because I had no idea on what to take I decided to go ahead - leave school and study animal care at college.

I loved the course and was sure this was what I wanted to do - and also part of me felt like I now HAD to work in this industry because I'd spent two years studying it at college.

And now here I sit at twenty years old - two years after finishing my animal care course - still not working for any company animal related (after many many applications - most of which ignored which I find SO rude) trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.

Oh.

And I quit my job yesterday.

I was working in a theme park - it was supposed to be progressing me in my love of photography (because I kind of started giving up on the animal care job hunt) as the original position I applied for was 'Official Park Photographer' but as time went on I realised they weren't giving me this opportunity and I was basically being shoved on any old thing they wanted me on - including operating rides and rollar coasters which gave me constant worry and anxiety and hated it. (I am not going to be naming any companies in this post as its my personal opinions and I don't want to be that person).

So after booking some time off to be with my boyfriend and basically being conned out of a weeks pay (don't even ask its crazy and makes me really wonder how managers sleep at night aha)  and then receiving a new rota through with only two days of work (a Saturday and a Sunday may I just add) when I'm supposed to be a full time worker - I got to the end of my tether and wrote out my notice, drove to work and handed it in and came away with the feeling of huge sense of relief.

I am lucky enough to have another job lined up which my sister has helped me sort out in the company she works for and although its only for a couple of months over Christmas I'm SO excited to start (especially as it consists of putting up Christmas decorations and a Santa's grotto, and then working as an elf in the grotto!!!) but at the same time in the back of my mind is still that same stupid question

 'what do you want to be when you're older?'

and I start to worry that I'll never know the answer, and the more I worry the worse it gets to find the answer.

Does anyone else know what I mean?

I am all for 'all things happen for a reason' and 'you'll find your job eventually' like I'm told every time I mention this to anybody but scrolling through Facebook and seeing everybody else working abroad, and progressing in all these amazing jobs it makes me feel quite rubbish you know?

Anybody else been through/going through this?

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