I've been meaning to update my blog for so long, but my life recently has been jammed pack full of juggling work with my social life (which is rapidly ceasing to excite), and my blog has been pushed to the bottom of pile :( but today I finished work at 3pm so have a free couple of hours!
It's good to be back :)
A few weeks ago I was getting really down about just general things and feeling like my life wasent really going anywhere, which is honestly one of the most disheartening things to ever feel, and it got to the point where I just wasent my normal happy self and couldn't find many things to be positive about. I was having stressful days at work and going home and waking up up with huge headaches and just snapping at people, and just feeling horrible!
I spoke to my manager at work and also my boyfriend about it and they both said I need to do what makes me happy, and even my manager said that if I found a new job they would support me all the way which definitely made me feel a lot better.
For any of you who don't know (or haven't read my '50 Facts About Me' post ;) ) I spent two years at college studying Animal Care and Management and then once the course was over I carried on working at the restaurant I was working part-time and became full-time and then a few months later was promoted to Supervisor - which yes, meant more money but also more hours, and more stress. At first I was loving it because it was something new and it meant working with the public but the novelty soon started to wear off and my parents were encouraging me everyday to get back into working with animals as thats what I've always wanted to do. So I applied for Pets At Home but got rejected which took a big stab at my self confidence, but after a while I was actually half glad I didn't get the job as I soon realised that I really wanted to work outside with animals rather than inside, so tried to take a positive from the rejection rather than a negative.
Anyway since then I've decided to start volunteering at a sanctuary for rescued donkeys near where I live..and I have an interview next week! I'm so inbelievably excited!!
It's only unpaid work at the moment for one day a week but I've spoken to work and they are allowing me one regular day off a week to do the placement. Just the fact I'll be outside working in fields rather than a small restaurant is exciting enough!! I'll be able to see the sun again :)
Finding the effort to apply for volunteering did take me a long time as I think deep down I was scared of getting rejected again, but then I remembered that volunteers don't really get rejected that often, as it's unpaid work and the sanctuary would just be thankful for the help.
Applying for the volunteering placement has encouraged me to find the effort with other areas of my life also, one for example being make the most out of my days off. As I work random hours I hardly ever get weekends off so I end up getting weekdays off where everyone else is at work and sleep in until 11am, don't get dressed until lunchtime and then just sit and do nothing all day. It was making me feel really lazy and in a way like I was wasting days, which again is not a nice feeling.
So one morning on my day off I was up and ready by 9am, and had homemade cheese straws in the oven by 11am. Being productive and getting up early instantly made me feel so much more positive and healthy, even if I was just making cheese straws! I've also started to take my dog for walks around my village for an hour or so. Normally I hate walking and have done ever since I was younger, but I've been trying to find motivation to get outside and not only does it get me out the house, but also is a source of excercise - even better! Whilst I'm walking it just allows me time to think about what I want to do with my life and just be away from the stress of work and the confinment from being indoors all day.
I feel like I'm rambling a bit but I just think it's important to share these things as I know there are other people like me who may be going through a 'what am I doing with my life' stage and it's really not a nice thing, and finding motivation for me was the best way to make a change. Even if you really really can't be bothered to get out of bed before 11am on your day off, just do it! It's amazing how much the worlds awake in the morning - and you get to see all those things you miss when you're asleep!
Career change has a huge impact on your life, and this could work out to be a good impact or a not so good one, but for me I think if it doesn't work out how you intended it to, then at least you know, and everything happens for a reason, so if you get rejected for a job it might just be life trying to push you in the right direction.
And its not just my career I've started to become more positive in either!
I'm one of these people that only ever feel 100% comfortable when I'm in my bedroom or somewhere I know with people that I know and feel comfortable around, and anything out of my comfort zone in a no-no. My friends from college recently have been trying to arrange a meet up because we havent all been together in months, and each one they arrange I either can't go because I'm working (yawn yawn) or I just say no and make up an excuse because I don't feel confident enough to go out of the house.
So when I got a text from my friend asking if I'd like to go out for her birthday meal I automatically ignored it and just pretended I never recieved like I have done so many times before, then after an hour or so I just decided to say yes and go. And it was such a good decision! Seeing everyone again was really nice and I was just generally proud of my self for ignoring my feelings of anxiety and lack of self confidence and dressing up and going out! I did my hair all nice, put my makeup on and dressed up in a more confident manner than I felt, but went to the meal and had a lovely time.
I've decided to try and say yes to things more often and overcome feeling scared of the unknown and anxiety and just try and make the most of everyday.
This post was ridiculously long (and it was only supposed to be a quick one!) but I really do hope this can motivate others feeling the same to go out, change the things that make them sad, and say yes to meet-ups opportunities and life! Just say yes to life!
Thanks for reading you lovely bloggers, and always leave a comment as I love to hear from you all :)
Molly
xox
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